Game-ism.com has posted a Portal plot theory that, if correct, really turns the the entire experience on it’s ear. What they are proposing is that GladOS, after ostesibly murdering the working population of Aperture Science, has spent the ensuing time trying to condition the test subjects to murder her and free her from her bondage in the Lab facility as the author illustrates with the above rendering.

First, I think he’s dead on about the design inspiration for GladOS. I remember the line in the commentary that he talked about in his article and remember not really getting it at the time. With the side by side images though, it’s really hard to argue with his logic. Seriously creepy shit going on when viewed in this light. It will be really interesting to see if anyone from Valve chimes in to either confirm or deny or just to say “WTF took you so long you morons?”

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But Gren, you say, isn’t that a bit harsh? You don’t know that EA is going to systematically rape and pillage these studios for their IP and fuck up whatever projects they have in development as only EA can.

Actions speak louder that works though, and EA’s history of acquisitions makes me nauseous when I think about my sweet, innocent Bioware locked in their loathsome clutches.

See that? ^^^ Don’t ever fucking do that in my comments. grumble

OK so, welcome to our little hate fest. I’m of the personal opinion that anger and hatred can be great stress relievers and, when applied properly with the appropriate measure wit and honesty, allow for a view of the world uncolored or distorted by worry for people’s feelings.

Most blogs and internet communities tend to frown on “hate posting,” declaring it low-brow or part of the problem rather than offering a solution. Sometimes that is an accurate assessment, No Mutants Allowed, I’m looking at your collective, bitchy, fucking ass.  Sometimes though kids, solutions are overrated.   That, and (most importantly perhaps) train wrecks can be fun to watch, especially when the metaphorical locomotives driven by incompetent, ego maniacal, addled, cheer-leading, blow-hards, with a tenuous grip on reality.

So sit back and bask in the glow of our hate, which burns with the fury of a thousand stars.

G. Makarov, Out.